Monday, December 05, 2005

sorry about that.....

okay,...so it wasn't fair for me to go all ANGRY BLACK WOMAN on ya without an explaination.

in 4yrs....i will be 40. honestly...i think it's pretty fab. i am not living a "TYPICAL" life. i have partied more in the past 7months than i did during my ENTIRE 20's. i'm loving life.

here's the thing though....the older i get....the less i tolerate. that could be why i am a happier person. i don't know. the slightest sign of bs... I GO OFF! i feel the tension building and i start blurting out m-f's this....f-that! i know it's bad.

i wasn't always this way. i was the sweet, easy going girl that people used to just take for granted. when i got sick & tired...i was SICK AND TIRED! maybe i need to learn some yoga, pilates or some ish like that. i wish i could be one of those people like...."you have TOTALLY pissed me OFF....I'M GONNA GO WORK OUT!" why oh why can't i be like that? oh well....


an x (whom i will forever hold dear to my heart) read my blog and was pissed to find out about the existence of cb (cuddle bunny). the "married" x,...sent me a message about how disappointed he was. now,....think about it.....this is f-d up. how in the hell can you (married father of 2) get pissed about anything that i (not married, no kids...1 amazing bf) do or anyONE I DO? so,...I WENT OFF. Sorry I left alot of you wondering....WHAT THE HELL?!

i worried that he would read what i typed and be hurt or upset with me.....INITIALLY! then....i thought....what the hell? i need to really put ish out on the table and let shit fall where it falls and deal with the aftermath. at least that way....people will know how i feel. i shall no longer bite my tongue. ( i know some men hate this quality in a lot of women ) and if that man is you.... good 4 u on not dating a woman like me because I WOULD GIVE U HELL....WITH A DEVILISH SMILE! (i think i was a dominatrix in a prior life)

anywaz.....that was the deal with that.


so,...work.....we are supposed to decorate the studios for the holidays in our own creative themes.....i decided to have a DIVA CHRISTMAS! i went out and got a HOT PINK FAUX FUR tree and mirrored DISCO BALL ornaments. i plan on wrapping it with feather boa. i want to make some cosmo martini ornaments....but i havent' had time for crap. i was going to hold off until the day before the judging to decorate but of course.....HATERS had to go bitchin' to the boss about me doing that so NOW if anyone is going to participate...WE ALL have to decorate by a deadline.

i love everyone here (new job) and i hope that we all can ONLY become closer...more like family.....but i tell you....this HATER ish has me wanting to go for the jugs. i know...the music biz, huh?

that's just the thing....i really don't think that people in this industry are mean and hateful. i really believe that we are ALL just f-ed up. none of the jocks here have stable, and functional relationships. mine with cb has lasted this long...(i believe) is because i keep him, hide him....protect him and what we have from this world. it's not fair but it works.

anyway... enough of all that. if anyone has any other cool & funky,...diva esque ideas as to how i can win this contest at work.....HELP...PLEASE??? thanks....jazzy

7 comments:

Casey said...

So what was up with the windows rolled up all the way and you looking straight forward crusin' in the PT at the parade?? I couldn't even holler at cha!!! LOL

HOT PINK FAUX FUR tree, mirrored DISCO BALL ornaments, feather boa, cosmo martini ornaments... umm.. you just about have thought of everything!!! NOW PAINT YOUR FACE ALL OVER THE WALLS OF THE STUDIO, AND IT WILL BE DIVA SURE ENOUGH!! We want pictures TOO!!

Merry Christmas Jazz!!! I miss ya!!

Berry said...

You've got it covered. I would NEVER have thought of that for the tree decorating idea.

Me said...

I'm with berry — you've already got more than I would have ever thought about. And I'm glad you're feeling better after letting that all out.

princessdominique said...

Girl just keep doing your thing. You write it and I'll read it...

Schatzi said...

Sounds like a Diva Christmas to me! You'll have to post a pic of your tree!

Jdid said...

dont let folk raise your blood pressure girl. sometmes it aint worth bothering with

Yolanda said...

I laughed all the way through this posting. You said what needed to be said, what too many women keep to themselves. I mean, seriously, it's like you say, dude is married and should be minding his own. We must see pics of this pink tree-thing you're putting together. LOL