Friday, November 12, 2004

the saga continues.....

Okay so, BOSSMAN wants to go ROCK!

Our program directors father was ill so she went out of town to see about him for a week. There were only 3 people on-air at the station and with her gone,...working as a TEAM and being completely naive. Me and the night guy worked double shifts FOR FREE! (you know, to show that we were A TEAM). ME, the employee/girlfriend,....all eager to please, asked BOSSMAN if I was doing a good job. I asked if he thought I could improve in anyway? He said, "Jazz, you are doing a GREAT JOB! You know what? I'm gonna help you guys out. You shouldn't be pulling doubles. I will bring in someone to help you guys. A friend of mine is in town visiting and he has tons of experience. I will get him to help you out."

I thought, COOL! I have the best boss in the world! Who takes his employees in consideration like that? So,...within hours of our conversation,...HELP arrives. His name is DOCK BROCK. He was an older guy that talked alot like Johnny Fever from WKRP in Cinncinati. You know, like the Jocks of the 70's on Coke. I was asked to show him around and show him the ropes. Then I told him which shift he was to take (program directors air shift which was from 10-3).


So he says,"I don't know about you sweetheart, but I'm going on at 3."

Me,..."Nah, you see,...that's my shift. You are helping out and you are to cover Program Directors shift."

He said in a very pompus tone while inhaling a cigarette like Andrew Dice Clay, "WHATEVER SWEETHEART! YOU NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH BOSSMAN."

****insert me with the most confused and betrayed look on my face********

I immediately went to BOSSMAN and asked him to set this DOCK guy straight.

BOSSMAN...."Sorry Jazz, this guy has 25yrs experience and you are still just a baby in the industry."

ME....***eyes watering and FIGHTING tears******But just yesterday, YOU said I was doing a great job. YOU said that there was no need to change a thing.

BOSSMAN....Jazz, come on. I wanna go up against the rock station and I can't do that with a baby. (black girl) I need a veteran.(rock n roll white guy)

ME.... Why didn't you say something sooner? You pulled me off the Urban (Radio term for BLACK) Station because you thought I wasn't Urban(BLACK/ETHNIC) enough and brought me here. You told me this was perfect. Now that I have excelled and fallen in love with this format, YOU want to can me? AFTER EVERYTHING!?

BOSSMAN....Jazz, WE think you are a great talent and we have no intentions of "CANNING" you. WE are keeping you on. WE are looking into buying new stations and you would be perfect for them. We are gonna just have you do odd jobs around here until the aquisition of the stations then ......YOU ARE BACK.

ME.....****How could I believe anything this man said? How could I have allowed him to basically "F*CK ME AND WALK AWAY!" (IT'S AN EXPRESSION!, don't get it twisted. I don't roll like that.) I felt like the biggest IDIOT ever. I let my guards down. I sat there riddled with so much anger and developing HATE! I could have gone postal that day. I was only seeing RED! BETRAYAL!!!!! Tears started to roll down my face, which pissed me off MORE. I can be such a F*CKING PUNK sometimes. (that was all I was thinking) I kept telling myself, "DON'T LET THIS MUTHAF*CKA SEE YOUR TEARS!!!!" I tried to channel the strength of my dead mother who would NEVER let her enemies see her sweat. I felt like she would have slapped the shit out of me if she had seen my tears in the presence of those that hurt me. I tried to BUCK UP! But the anger and feeling of betrayal was just too strong.


I sat there thinking, "DAMMIT! I hadn't planned my escape! I wasn't prepared. I was caught off gaurd. I had no back-up plan. NO ESCAPE ROUTE FOR THE "JUST IN CASE SH*T HAPPENS" EMERGENCY!!!

i know you guys are on pins and needles to see what happens next but i have to jet to job be continued.......


Apocalypse said...

baby, trust that everything will work out for the better. just keep thinking to yourself...."right on time" when? "right on time" not when..."right on time!"

Phin Samuels said...

That sucks! But in Phoenix...what can you expect?

Jdid said...

thats crazy. think you're going to have to "buck up" fa real. you cant let them punk you out sis.

obifromsouthlondon said...

rock station. hmmm. thats like being stranded in Bosnia and you're the only Croatian. bossguy's taking the piss. train your replacement? I can think of a few training regimes ;-) ok you can't go back to the urban side of things so need options.

I can suggest going the freelance/consultant way but dont really know how the media industry works. Got served a redundancy envelope a year and a half ago. the own boss route was my lifeline. difficult (can face uncertainy) but rewarding.

good luck on the hunt still. virtually yours.

G. Cornelius Harris said...

Don't make me take a cheap flight and come whoop some ass...I'll keep you posted

SMW said...


Girl, I just want you to know that we're all rooting for ya. Cuz I feel ya. Young, talented and willing to give our all, but the world, shoot, this world sometimes just ain't feelin us.

Much Love and Strength coming your way from Miami, girl.

You got the skills. You got the passion. Keep going.

I once read a quote by Albert Einstein:
If you're going through hell, keep going.

That makes me laugh and inspires me at the same time.

Ms. Tee

Casey said...

Hang in there Jazz!

Dayrell said...

Stay strong Jazz. Strength conquers all. Continuing to stay strong will kick his ass more then lack of intensity would...

In the meantime, I'll be on the look-out to see what happens sista. Good luck. :)

Sid said...

woooo, chile--

i'm sorry to hear your boss is such a b9tch. I woulda cried up in there too...and then gone crazy. Damn. And then to try to tell you to work "around the office" until they found a place for you? Uh-huh, sounds like they are trying the shelve you. Is there nowhere else you can go to work?

I'll be rootin' for you!

Sivad said...

dang jazz, that sucks. i've been reading about your drama in the radio world for a little while now, and this is the top. good luck to you and i'm sure you will persevere. i'll be reading on to see what happens.

Blessed One said...

I know what you mean. I've been there a couple of times. My Mom, who was also my best friend, died seven years ago. It seems like yesterday sometimes; especially when I'm dealing with something that is difficult emotionally, mentally, and financially.

My Mom was a strong woman too. Cry... not her. So the couple of times I was dealt a blow and broke down for the same reasons you did, in front of my boss, I could hear my Mom telling me off. I would try my best not to break down, but it was that or go totally postal.

I've learned since that I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. He ALWAYS opens up a door that is much better than the one that's closing. I feel that's what's going to happen for you. I have said a prayer for you and I look forward to reading about your new career venture that will make this one suck in comparison.

Keep your head up and don't let it get you down. Remember, what God has for you, is for you.

Stoney said...

I have to agree with Blessed One, even though the experience was heartbreaking, I have to believe it is for your good. I have to believe in the long run the experience will enrich you as a person. Stay strong.

N. Kenyatta Gray said...

dont sweat the haters....God w'll open other doors! Stay Strong!