You know it's funny how similar jobs and boyfriends are. You start out all optimistic and eager to please. Everything is lovely. Then, the mood shifts. Job/Boyfriend turns on you. It's heartbreaking and disappointing.
Here's the thing,...I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH JOB/BOYFRIEND!! I'M DONE. I am so JADED when it comes to MEN/JOBS. I enter BOTH relationships with my eye on the exit door for the quickest escape route. I know it's bad,....but hey,...GOTTA SAVE FACE, GOTTA SAVE ASS!
So, here's the DEALIO with the Jobby Job.
Don't know if you have noticed the job security rumblings or not but... SH*T HAS HIT THE FAN! AGAIN!
So I can't tell this story without starting from the beginning. I got my degree from ASU in Music. Tried to perform on stage, couldn't deal with the stage fright. I tried teaching,...NO PATIENCE! I was about to go postal on those kids, parents were worse. I tried working for a now defunct record label,...6 BUCKS AN HOUR FOR 3 HOURS, 2 DAYS A WEEK!!!! yeah, they were trippin'.
So then I got a hook up at a radio station. In my mind, I was thinking,...with a degree, i could get a job at a station as Music Director,...JUST LIKE THAT! I made it to the interview, dressed to the 9's and OWNED IT! The future DIVA BOSS "THE DUTCHESS"(her dj name) looked at me and said,...YOU GOT A JOB! You wanna sell or work on air? I was like,"O-KAY, I was thinking Music Director, not on air!" She repeats herself and says, "So do you wanna sell or work on air?" So I said, "On air, I guess." I was SCARED to death. But the DUTCHESS took me under her wings, became my mentor and showed me the "technical" ropes. She was the best. Then she got a better offer and moved to (Black Folks Love Bush) OHIO. Exit DREAM BOSS, enter HATER BI-YATCH FROM HELL. Guess there couldn't be TWO cute females on ONE station in this town. This "I HATE YOU AND I WILL DO WHATEVER I NEED TO DO TO TAKE YOU DOWN BOSS" was the PERFECT FRIEND BOSS...IN DISGUISE!! She tried like HELL, on the sly, to get me fired,...to no avail. (GOD TAKES CARE OF HIS KIDS) Then the owner of the station sold it to a GROUP. (Corporate Radio begins)
This was BIG TIME to me at the time. With the aquisition of my station, this company now owned 5 stations. I was in a comfort zone with my show and very insecure. I tried to take in the advice of all the vets around me and apply it to my show. One day, the big boss (mista cha-ly white guy) calls me into his office and says basically that I WASN'T ETHNIC ENOUGH FOR A BLACK STATION. "ME?...NOT ETHNIC!" and like the movie CB4, I felt like Lance (sharmaines man from the cosby show) when he was like, "UM BLACK AN UM BLACK AN UM BLACK YALL! AN UM BLACK! BLACKA DEN BLACK YALL!" ...WTF! How was I, "ME," the one that's straight from Atlanta(not a suburb like Decatur or Marietta, but the SWATS, the dirty south), born and raised in the home of Dr. Martin Luther King (BLACKNESS HEADQUARTERS) not ethnic enough? I was pissed, still very insecure and...there was that thing where I didn't want to lose my job. So, I asked what he wanted me to do about getting in touch with my BLACKNESS! He said, "I wouldn't change a thing! I think you'd be better suited for our pop station. We are gonna have to change your name. D-Love sounds WAY TOO ethnic. " I'm thinking,...WHAT? too ETHNIC? this is about some BULLSh*t!! So I come up with the name Jazzmine,...spelled like Jazz-mine out of sheer rebellion because I didn't want to leave my station. I didn't want to give up the Jazz show, it was MINE. Hence the name Jazzmine. Found a Jazz station in Phoenix Arizona, put a spin on that whole Phoenix rising thing and VOILA! A STAR IS BORN!
My first night on the station, some chick calls in on the request line and says,..." I WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOUR STATION AGAIN, AS LONG AS YOU HAVE ***insert serious HICK accent*** THAT NIGGER BITCH ON!" My mouth dropped. Guess I wasn't BLACK enough because instead of CUSSIN' DA BITCH OUT,...like a PUNK,...I CRIED! ***getting teary eyed typing this*** Growing up in Atlanta (a very Black city), I had never experience racism. EVERYBODY was BLACK! So the "N" word was only something I only heard on documentaries on the Civil Rights Movement (or rap songs). How could someone that didn't know me hate me? I went to BOSS MAN and begged him to "LET US FREE! Pleeze put me back on my Urban Blackness station? LET ME GO HOME!!!" In a self assured manner, he said "JAZZ, I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING! YOU ARE STAYING PUT. Believe me when I tell you that you are talented and you can do this. I know it!" He was so confident. So I figured I would do it but he would soon realize that he was making a HUGE mistake and he would EAT those words. One week later, little boy Billie and his mom (white) came to the station looking for me. He was like 8 or something and had made a Christmas card for me and his mom baked peanut brittle for me. He didn't care that I was Black. I was so touched....like A PUNK,..I CRIED! Since then, there has been nothing but LOVE from the listening public.....good times.
After pushing me and being so supportive, BOSS MAN flips. He decides to go totally ROCK! Then suddenly, I'M TOO BLACK for ROCK!
gotta go to work, this story is definitely.....TO BE CONTINUED!!!!