Tuesday, August 17, 2004

SOUL FOOD!!! DIARRHEA!!!

ok so,..I am soooo addicted to blogging and reading the blogs of others. it is so bad that i wiggle all night because i don't have enough junk in the trunk and my butt starts morphing into the shape of the chair,...."OW-E!"

anywaz,...so i am reading this funny ass blog about this girl with diarrhea and all i can think about is this guy i once went out with.

you see,...he'd come to visit me and i constantly told him before and after his arrival,..."NO NOOKIE! I DON'T KNOW YOU LIKE THAT, YET!" i guess he thought i was lying and that there was gonna be some kind of magical spell he would put on me and i would just succumb to his wishes. (you know your girl wasn't havin' it) he was so perisitant, he pissed me off. so,..i had to get this butt-munch away from me. i didn't want to curse him out because, he wasn't really rude. he was just,.....hhmm,...what's a good word for it,.....disrespectful. now you can handle that 1 of 2 ways,.... you can GO OFF!!! or you can TEACH HIM SOME RESPECT!

i chose the latter. since he was a northern boy,...he was fixated on SOUTHERN BELLES AND SOUTHERN CUISINE. i knew just the thing. we started off the day with a little TCBY ice cream treat. then,....i took him to the best soul food restaurant in town. ( i know you were like,..."why didn't you cook?" ....AS IF!!!) anyway,...i got the baked chicken and i got him a HUGE plate of collard greens with fat back, hog maws (whatever that is), gizzards and to top it all off,... a GIGANTIC bowl of chitterlings (or as we say it,..."chit-lins" (pig intestines)) THAT PERFECT MIX OF MILK AND SOUL FOOD! Yall,...he was HURTING! he was in the bathroom till his plane arrived. it was hilarious!

I was bothered,...no more! hhhmm,....wonder why i never heard from him again?

*************tee-hee (insert menacing laugh,...HERE!) ************

5 comments:

Casey said...

Where do I begin???
This is got to be the most weight gaining encounter this guy has saw.. You got him going all right, probably with 20 extra pounds and clogged arteries.

I can see it on the bookselves:

"How to throw 20 pounds and blocked arteries on your visiting frisky friend"
The ultimate recipe for destruction.. LOL

Wilson said...

I would say that you are so wrong for doing that, but I think that it's great. lmao

Kool Rock Ski said...

ewwwwww....I can feel my "pressure" going up as I type. He brought it on himself tring to be pushy...

obifromsouthlondon said...

you nasty girl lol. see guy wasnt paying attention. no chick will get that one on me. on my Ps and Qs fe real. you know i'm addicted to your blog already my pretty diva ;-)

Jazz said...

it's not like i poisoned him.(smirk smirk) he just knows now,... "no or not yet" does not translate into "yes or maybe." a couple of days later,...he was good as new (i think) tee-hee