okay,...so it wasn't fair for me to go all ANGRY BLACK WOMAN on ya without an explaination.
in 4yrs....i will be 40. honestly...i think it's pretty fab. i am not living a "TYPICAL" life. i have partied more in the past 7months than i did during my ENTIRE 20's. i'm loving life.
here's the thing though....the older i get....the less i tolerate. that could be why i am a happier person. i don't know. the slightest sign of bs... I GO OFF! i feel the tension building and i start blurting out m-f's this....f-that! i know it's bad.
i wasn't always this way. i was the sweet, easy going girl that people used to just take for granted. when i got sick & tired...i was SICK AND TIRED! maybe i need to learn some yoga, pilates or some ish like that. i wish i could be one of those people like...."you have TOTALLY pissed me OFF....I'M GONNA GO WORK OUT!" why oh why can't i be like that? oh well....
an x (whom i will forever hold dear to my heart) read my blog and was pissed to find out about the existence of cb (cuddle bunny). the "married" x,...sent me a message about how disappointed he was. now,....think about it.....this is f-d up. how in the hell can you (married father of 2) get pissed about anything that i (not married, no kids...1 amazing bf) do or anyONE I DO? so,...I WENT OFF. Sorry I left alot of you wondering....WHAT THE HELL?!
i worried that he would read what i typed and be hurt or upset with me.....INITIALLY! then....i thought....what the hell? i need to really put ish out on the table and let shit fall where it falls and deal with the aftermath. at least that way....people will know how i feel. i shall no longer bite my tongue. ( i know some men hate this quality in a lot of women ) and if that man is you.... good 4 u on not dating a woman like me because I WOULD GIVE U HELL....WITH A DEVILISH SMILE! (i think i was a dominatrix in a prior life)
anywaz.....that was the deal with that.
so,...work.....we are supposed to decorate the studios for the holidays in our own creative themes.....i decided to have a DIVA CHRISTMAS! i went out and got a HOT PINK FAUX FUR tree and mirrored DISCO BALL ornaments. i plan on wrapping it with feather boa. i want to make some cosmo martini ornaments....but i havent' had time for crap. i was going to hold off until the day before the judging to decorate but of course.....HATERS had to go bitchin' to the boss about me doing that so NOW if anyone is going to participate...WE ALL have to decorate by a deadline.
i love everyone here (new job) and i hope that we all can ONLY become closer...more like family.....but i tell you....this HATER ish has me wanting to go for the jugs. i know...the music biz, huh?
that's just the thing....i really don't think that people in this industry are mean and hateful. i really believe that we are ALL just f-ed up. none of the jocks here have stable, and functional relationships. mine with cb has lasted this long...(i believe) is because i keep him, hide him....protect him and what we have from this world. it's not fair but it works.
anyway... enough of all that. if anyone has any other cool & funky,...diva esque ideas as to how i can win this contest at work.....HELP...PLEASE??? thanks....jazzy