Sunday, September 25, 2005

WHY? THE WAKE UP CALL!


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LIL KIM,.... I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER. APPARENTLY, SHE HAS ISSUES.....WITH HER SELF IMAGE, HER FRIENDS, YOU NAME IT. AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT THOUGHT SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL BEFORE ALL THE PLASTIC SURGERY? WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES ANYWAY? AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY WITH THE THINGS GOD GAVE US? (I KNOW, THAT'S ANOTHER STORY)

THEN, BELIEVING THE HYPE, BELIEVING IN JIVE ASS WANNA BE GANGSTAS....STANDING FOR "FAM!"(WHO APPARENTLY RODE YOUR COAT-TAIL ALONG WITH BIGGIE, AND MOOCHED OFF OF YOU BOTH) WHERE DID IT GET YOU? F*CKED!!! AND NOT IN THE CONTROLLING WAY YOU LIKE IT ON WAX BUT IN THE MOST FOUL WAY....THROUGH BETRAYAL. WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE, MOST LOOK OUT FOR SELF. WILL YOU FROM NOW ON? WHAT WILL YOU LEARN FROM THIS LIFE LESSON? MUTHA F*CKAS AIN'T SH*T!? PLASTIC PARTS, FAKE EYES, BOOBS AND BLONDE HAIR WON'T SAVE YOU BECAUSE UNDER IT ALL, YOU'RE STILL BLACK. WHERE WERE PUFF, PAMELA LEE, THE JUNIOR MAFIA AND ALL THE OTHERS YOU LOVE TO ASSOCIATE WITH? DO YOU THINK YOU WILL COME OUT RICHER BECAUSE OF IT ALL LIKE MARTHA? THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL. I KNOW PEOPLE WHO ARE DOWN FOR THEIR GANGS, SORORITES & FRATERNITIES, ETC. LIKE THEY KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT THEIR BROTHEREN WOULD NEVER TURN ON THEM, BUT WHAT DO YOU REALLY KNOW?



MY BEST FRIEND OF 8YRS, LETS CALL HER BECKY, HASN'T REALLY BEEN SPEAKING TO ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE DONE. I TRIED TO TALK TO HER ABOUT IT AND SHE SAYS THAT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG. SHE AVOIDS ME, SHE WON'T ANSWER MY CALLS AND WHEN SHE DOES, SHE JUST MAKES LIKE SHE'S SO BUSY. I WOULD BELIEVE THAT IF I DIDN'T KNOW HER SO WELL. IT'S ALL OUT OF HER CHARACTER. I ASKED A MUTUAL FRIEND ABOUT IT AND HE SAYS,...AS IF I AM BEING COMPLETELY SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED......



HAVE YOU EVER STOPPED TO THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE IS GOING THROUGH? MAYBE YOU REMIND HER OF EVERYTHING SHE DOESN'T HAVE AND SHE DOESN'T NEED THAT.

SO, I'M LIKE "WHAT"?

HE SAYS WELL, "THINK ABOUT HER DAUGHTER (FORMERLY A DRUG ADDICT ALONG WITH HER CRACK HEAD BOYFRIEND, WHO IS NOW SPENDING A YEAR IN JAIL FOR HIS USAGE) JUST HAD A BABY WHO IS EXTREMELY UNHEALTHY AND HAS BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL, IN AND OUT OF SURGERIES SINCE HIS BIRTH 3 MONTHS AGO. BECKY QUIT HER JOB FOR ANOTHER IN WHICH LOTS WAS OFFERED AND NOTHING MANIFESTED. SHE BUSTED HER ASS AND THEY REFUSED TO PAY HER BY CLAIMING THEY WERE GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. HER HUSBAND'S CONTROLLING AND ABUSIVE AND HER ENTIRE FAMILY DEPENDS ON HER.........YOU, (MEANING ME) TO HER, HAVE EVERYTHING. YOUR NEICE IS BIG STRONG AND HEALTHY AND YOU LOVE YOUR JOB. YOU HAVE NO CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE EVERYTHING TO EVERYONE. YOU HAVE THE PERROGATIVE TO BE COMPLETELY SELFISH."

I'D NEVER THOUGHT OF THINGS THAT WAY BUT STILL, THAT'S NO REASON TO BE PISSED AT ME. YOU SEE, BECKY HAS GOD ISSUES AND I KNOW.....LIKE DARK CLOULDS CLEARING IN THE SKY THAT GOD CAN CHANGE THINGS. IF ONLY SHE'D TRY GOD,...EVERYTHING WOULD MIRACULOUSLY CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO HER AND IT'S NOT FAIR THAT SHE HOLDS MY BLESSINGS AGAINST ME. AM I SUPPOSED TO BE ASHAMED OR FEEL BAD ABOUT THE WAY GOD HAS BLESSED ME TO KEEP FROM HURTING PEOPLES FEELINGS?

LIKE LIL' KIM, I'VE LEARNED THAT PEOPLE CAN TURN ON YOU FOR NO REASON AT ALL (NO LIGITIMATE REASON ANYWAY). WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS HOW YOU HANDLE THE SITUATION? DO YOU ACCEPT, EMBRACE THE REJECTION?BETRAYAL (IN KIMS CASE) AND TREAT PEOPLE ACCORDINGLY (DISCONNECT OR CUT THEIR ASSES OFF) OR DO YOU RESIST, CONTINUE TO ASK AND BEG WHAT YOU DID WRONG, APOLOGIZE, BEG FOR FORGIVENESS AND TRY TO FIX THINGS? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IN MY SITUATION, I THINK IT'S SOME DUMB ISH TO GET PISSED OFF ABOUT. THAT'S SOME HATER ISH. BUT IT'S GOOD TO KNOW BECAUSE,....UNLIKE KIM, I AM CHOOSING TO DISCONNECT BEFORE I GET BURNED.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Casey said...

Jazz,

You know what, you shouldn't feel bad about what GOD has blessed you with. You know we had talked back in your "Q" days, and I told you that God was going to bless you in his due time, and that's just what He did. God will and is capable of doing the same for everyone. I think in your situation I would have to tell her about GOD, keep influencing her to turn to God, and present Him with all of her worries and troubles. God Bless you Jazz!!!

LOVE YA!!

Jazz said...

I HAVE CASE, SHE REFUSES TO EVEN CONSIDER GOD. I FIGURED THAT IT WAS LIKE ANYTHING ELSE,...YOU DO IT WHEN "YOU" DECIDE. I WOULD LET HER BE. I CAN'T BROW BEAT HER WITH GOD. I'M DONE. I JUST HAVE TO PRAY FOR HER.

Funkeedva said...

*disconnect*

GO right ahead I hear ya!

Brownsoul said...

Once you've reached out, that's all you can do. You can't mend a relationship if both parties aren't willing to participate. So as much as it may hurt, you can't let it continue to consume your thoughts. You've taken steps to fix it...this just may be one of those things that can't be fixed. And at some point, you either except it or continue to let it eat at you.

Mary said...

Some friends can only be friends when there is drama or sadness. Misery loves company. Whenever there is success, it seems some of the closest people to you can be the most hater-ish. It's too bad but don't let it cloud your happiness, Jazzy!

princessdominique said...

I feel you Jazz. I did my spring cleaning earlier this year, whoever is left will be there for the duration. Do what you have to do for your own well being. Friends shouldn't make you feel like you have to downplay your accomplishments. That just pisses me off.

Casey said...

I agree with you... There is no sence in going neck to neck with someone that will not listen. I also agree with Andrea (brownsoul), that once you have reached out, that is all you can do.

Beauty said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
satin doll said...

it is obvious that trusting God gave you the blessings before you & until she can do the same she will continue to be distant from you. the battle is withherself & God not you though she is taking it out on you. so do what you have done to receive your current blessings. leave it to God. yes you are concerned but all you can do is pray for her. pray that God will reveal himself to her & all that she has to do is move on faith. dont take it personal.

The Nappyheaded Pensieve said...

I totally agree with everything you said about Lil Kim, looking at her pictures now just makes me shake my head in pity and disgust, she is lost and wallowing in low self esteem. And all those people who were suppossed to be there are nowhere to be found. *tsk tsk tsk*

Regarding your friend, I wouldn't take it personally. You've done what you are supossed to do and thus you've been rewarded. Hopefully she will turn to GOD and HE will see her through these trying times and she will then look at you and your accomplishments and it will drive her to strive for more in her life. If that doesn't happen, know that you've done ALL that you could and you were there for her, if it's meant to be, she'll come back around, if she doesn't, then remember the times you guys shared and then move on.
Happy you're back chica!

May said...

Kim, has issues and maybe she will get her head together in the joint.

I understand about your friend...I just had an acquaintance cut me off without an explanation too. I just said F&^% it and kept it moving. I don't have time for the junior high b.s. If you have a problem with me be a woman and tell me about it. I hate to be that way but some of the these broads out here want you to run behind them being their lakey. I've got places and go and people to see, regardless if I meet your approval or not. Let them be a big shot on their own if they can't handle what I am bringing. The same goes for some of these tired men out there. Sorry to go off in your comments but you touched a nerve because I haven't really given the situation much until you brought it up. :-)

Schatzi said...

A true friend would be happy for your accomplishments, not be pissed that she couldn't have the same. Jealousy is never a good thing. ((HUGS))

Sunnchine said...

You're such a smart girl Jazz. You're absolutely right. Your friend really needs to try God. She would have so much more peace if she knew him.

And how DARE she get upset with YOU because of HER poor choices in life. How is that your fault? It's not. God has blessed you....and if she would allow him, he'll bless her too. And have you ever heard the term "blessed by association?" You should strive to be around people who are positive and trying to better themselves, because it rubs off on you....just like hanging around the wrong crown can rub off on you.

She shouldn't be mad at you. If anything, she should maintain that friendship so some of Jazz can rub off on her. Love ya! :)

Laylah Queen of the Night said...

Hey Jazz, I guess what we can do it keep Kim in rotation in our daily prayers!

Jdid said...

All you can do is pray for becky and try to be there if she decides she needs you

courtneyelizabeth said...

I just shake my head at her whole situation....it's sad. I never bought any of her albums though....

Xquizzyt1 said...

Girl she's gonna come back around... watch.

You're making plans to "disconnect" and all that, but keep in mind, your other impartial friend just offered up his own THEORY!!! You don't even know for sure if that's her reasoning!!!

With all that you said that's going on in her life right now, it could be just that she doesn't have time to be your friend like she used to. Right now she's concentrating on her OWN shit and trying to get it together. With all your "blessings" and her "misfortune" and hte fact that you've been friends that long, I would think that you'd want to just be patient, let her sort her stuff out, and then come to you when she's ready. Not give up on her based on someone ELSE'S theory!!

*shrug*

And I don't think there's anything wrong with stepping back and dealing with your own stuff, before you can sit down and engage other people and deal with and listen to THEIRS.

Just something to think about...

Girl how ARE you??? I haven't read you in a while!!! Glad to find you again. =)))

nosthegametoo said...

I don’t even know where to begin. This is my first time reading your blog, but you really got to me with your posting.

Life is trying, and that’s not news to anyone. For me, I won’t apologize for having a life. And I definitely won’t apologize for making good decisions. Bitterness is poison, and personally I’m doing my best to keep poison at a bare minimum.

I don’t advocate abandoning someone you consider a friend, but I always ask myself this: Is the person I’m dealing with a friend to ME? I don’t mind being a friend, but a relationship (friendship in this case) can’t be a one-way street if it’s worth maintaining. Like my daddy used to say: YOU GOT TO BRING MORE TO THE TABLE THEN JUST YA ASS.

It’s not wrong to think of yourself. And “self-interest” is different from “selfishness.” Your friend seems like the “selfish” type; or at least she is in the context of your relationship. Even the President has time to return a call… even if it’s only a 3 minute phone call. Although she’s probably not selfish in other aspects of her life, your friendship seems based on a type of “selfishness.” I don’t fool with that kind of mess (at least not anymore).

Like my bold, tough and very beloved Auntie says: THE ONLY THING YOU GET FROM KISSING ASS IS STINKY BREATH.

brooklyn babe said...

To imply lil kim has issues.... would imply that she actually "has something to deal with..." when in fact she does not, b/c she has "NO self esteem." She lost that sh_t when she went under the first nice.

Peace Sis.

Me said...

AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT THOUGHT SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL BEFORE ALL THE PLASTIC SURGERY?

No, you're not. I thought she was adorable. Now she looks cryptic. Sad.

Rell said...

see i didn't think she looked good before the surgery. lol...

Shelia said...

Unfortunately it takes certain sitatuations to open your eyes to folks. Some friends you keep at a distance.

Just Me said...

People are going to do what they want to do regardless of what you say to them. They will not change until they are ready to. So, now, you have a choice you can make. You can either, continue being her friend and be there for her when she needs you. Or, you can 'disconnect' like you want to, and hope someone else will come along to take your place in her life. I don't think "Becky"'s pissed off at you for your blessings. I think she's starting to finally feel the pressure of her situation and she doesn't know how to respond to that. Don't you, like everybody else, take out your frustration on the people closest to you? We do that because those people know us and know that we're probably going through something and will be back to ourselves in a little while. Maybe "Becky" just needs to be left alone for right now, but not 'disconnected' from. Just my opinion.