DON'T FREAK OUT, I AM NOT A MANGIRL!!.......AND DON'T PICK AT ME, IT WAS THE 80'S. I love myself some Prince and as you can see, it's a love from way back when. I told Lambchop that I would blog about this so,...no time like now.
1985, when everything was LIVE!!!! I fell in love with the idea of becoming a musician. I'd studied music since 3rd grade. It started out with wanting to learn an instrument. My newly divorced mom had no money for a sax (the insrument she loved most), so we had to focus on the flute (the cheapest of them all).***Well, I guess I could have gotten some cheap ass drumsticks and a drum pad but, I'm pretty sure it wasn't lady like enough for my mother to even consider for me.**** So, flute it was.
I remember my teacher had me focus on the correct breathing, lip and blow patterns to successfully create a clear tone using ONLY the mouth piece. As a kid, you are ready to wreck some ish. So, I couldn't get to fingering fast enough. I loved learning and practicing. The best part, I later discovered was la piece de resistance,..."the PERFORMANCE!" I loved it. There was such a sense of accomplishment afterward.
As I got older, I took up other instruments....guitar, piano, violin and piccolo. Music was something that I had become 1 with.
Then there was Prince. This musical genius that was self taught and brilliant. I was intrigued. Then he had the balls to be racy and outspoken even though he rarely spoke. He was articulate and wise. I had to know more.
I became obsessed of course. Not to the point of stalking him or anything but I was one of those kids that thought alot about the words he'd written. There were so many subliminal and coded meanings to his lyrics. I was a virgin so I was lost most of the time. The religious stuff always got to me.
I know,..... this post really isn't about my love of Prince, but my love of music, bare with me. So, anyway......
I used to wonder about how cool it would be to bring your inner thoughts to life through music. How cool would it be for people to lose themselves, like I did between the chords in melodies? I felt things and I wanted people to feel them to.
I thought about how cool it would be to travel the world. Of course everyone wants money, but that didn't move me. I used to invision cheap ass Motel 6 kinda places with the vibrating beds and the neon lights outside the window. (i know, too much dam tv as a kid)
I wanted it all. So, I had fallen in love with Prince. There was this yearly dramatic performance production put on at Morris Brown College (back in the 80's before the drama). I got the chance to impersonate Prince and I had my very own Revolution. Lisa & Wendy, the Doctor, Dez and a cute little fluffy black girl that doubled as Andre Cymone and Brown Mark. Funny, we had no Bobby Z (the drummer). Anyway, we entered the auditorium on Girls & Boys and before it was over,....girls and guys were screaming and asking me to take pictures with them. It was complete pandemonium.
I LOVED IT! It was about the performance. It was about the adrenalin rush. It was about the attention. It was about the excitement. It was the sense of accomplishment. It was about the approval. I had to have this feeling of success all the time. At this very point in my life, I became infected. I knew that I could never be someone that worked regular hours, sat at a desk to do paperwork and watched the days go by. I knew I could not live this way and be happy. (funny how things happen)
Anyway, fast forward to 12th grade. It's time to decide....WHAT ARE U GONNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE? Me? I WANNA ROCK!!! I had it all planned. It was to be a successful Jazz instrumentalist or bumsville city. Succeed or Fail. Just that cut and dry, black and white for me at that time. Everyone said, "you won't make no money in music. why don't you go to college and major in bit-ness or somethin wit dem puters?" I held fast yall. I stood strong.......and compromised. (i know, i know)
I decided to go to college and major in music. This way, if things didn't work out (which they would), I would be able to fall back on teaching....still doing something I loved....working with music.
To make an already long story short-er, I went to college. Fell in love with theory, conterpoint and composition. I fell in love with performing in the concert bands and being a part of the Marching Rams Show Band. I excelled. I finished my courses. The last thing that I had to do was the recital. The recital,....on stage.....ALONE.....performing in front of GOD knows who....A-L-O-N-E!....no back-up!! I began to hyperventilate. I started freaking out. I started f-ing up. Before as Prince, I was lip-syncing. I can lip synch the HELL out of a song, but this was for real. My fingers began to get stiff from all the nervousness. My melodies began to crack. I started racing through the pieces so that it all could be OVER.
When I left the stage that night, I knew I could never perform alone as a jazz musician. I tried with a trio, but I just couldn't get back my mojo. I couldn't shake the jitters.
There is a performer that dwells within me. I guess that's why I do so well with radio, but the minute a spotlight hits me....I AM UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY FROZEN!!!
I can always fall back on teaching even though I lack the patience......... NAH, who am I kidding? Entertaining is still the life for me. Radio is something I love. I stumbled upon it pursuing music. There's a stage and no spot light. PERFECT!!!
LESSON TODAY, DO WHAT MAKES U HAPPY. U only have 1 life and it's yours......it's yours to live ABUNDANTLY!!! DO THAT THING THAT IGNITES THE PASSION BURNING INSIDE OF YOU. THERE WILL NEVER BE ANY REGRETS!!!!!!
keep on keepin' on........