Tuesday, January 11, 2005

PUBE-ING AT THE LOBSTER

Today has been a crazy day thus far. I recorded my jazz show and was invited to lunch by my friend, Tara. She knows that when she mentions "The Lobster," ....it's on! So, I snuck away from work to meet her for lunch. We order our food. Since I'm dieting and trying to take on a healthier perception of what I deem, 'delicious,' I ordered the broiled flounder and steamed veggies (I love seafood). So we're just chit-chatting, catching up and all, when my food comes. Halfway into lunch, I noticed a small hair. It was short, black and curly, and ya'll know what I was thinking, right? PUBES!!!! I tried not to, as they say "be ghetto" and go off. I was civilized, sophisticated and proper. I asked the waitress to take it away. She asked, "Why?" I showed her the "PUBE." She said, "Uh, that's not a hair. That's a fish vein." I looked at it again, this chick actually had me second guessing myself and I started to think that maybe, just maybe, (like the ghetto boys) my mind was playing tricks on me. My friend Tara said,"Let me see!" So, after her analysis of my plate, she confirmed that," YES, THIS IS A PUBE!" The manager comes, apologizes and takes the plate away promising a fresh new dish. So, Tara eats and I wait. As I watched her eat, I started to freak out inside. I always order this dish and I love tatar sauce. Usually, I ask for extra tartar sauce and I spread it on till it looks as if I am having fish with my tartar sauce instead of the other way around. Anywaz,...I was thinking,"what if i had gotten it like i always did? i never would have even seen the PUBE. EEEKK! I WOULD HAVE EATEN A PUBE! .......then of course I lost my appetite, which was the exact time the waitress sat my hot and freshly cooked PUBE replacement meal in front of me. Me? GRREEAATT!! Just FREAKING GREAT!

betcha think that was it, hunh? NOPE!

The waitress comes to the table to give me a bill. I look at the bill and again, I had to muffle the inner ghetto-princess. I said,"Excuse me. This bill is wrong." The waitress said,"Oh, no it isn't. We took of your diet coke because of the "HAIR" mishap." Now, I'm pissed. So I said, first off....I am not one of those people that will come in a restaurant, complain and show their ass to get free food. I HAD A LEGITIMATE COMPLAINT. Secondly, A free diet coke for the exchange of an entree with a PUBE? (in sheer amazement) COME ON NOW! Any other place would have at AT LEAST given you a freakin' desert or a coupon for free food the next visit. Lastly, YOU OVERCHARGED ME FOR THE PUBED ENTREE!!! (they charged me for the dinner portion when i had the lunch portion, a $4.oo difference)


So, now I am hungry and pissed. Ain't that a bitch!

20 comments:

Casey said...

ummm... ok!!
What is your air shift at the new station??

Larry D. Lyons II said...

one of the suprisingly many occasions when ghetto is not only called for, but absolutely NECESSARY.

if that was any member of my family, both meals would have been free and the waitress would have a very stern "talking to" to look forward to at then end of her shift! hmph!

that being said...
a lil pube ain't never hurt nobody.
stop ackin' all uppity, gal!

LOL

Apocalypse said...

too funny...but it could have been anyting ...a nose hair....a facial hair...I try to eat out as less as possible..bucause frankly, people are nasty and they dont care what you eat.

Jdid said...

yuck! i would have lost my appetite too

Meka said...

That's nasty. I would have freaked out too. Although I try not to send my food back cause I always think that it pisses them off and they are going to spit in it. :(

Phin Samuels said...

The Lobster can be so ghetto sometimes. If I find a pube in my food, I better get more than a free diet coke.

Mary said...

I try not to but weird stuff in my food will make me lose my appetite every time.

And I can't stand to be argued you with - I said its a pube please don't tell me its a damn vein!

What happened to the customer is always right?

Chuck said...

Yuck, that is gross. If there was a pube on your plate I wonder what could have been in that creamy white tarter sauce? :)

My wife and I went out to lunch to eat/drink and watch a football game a couple months ago. There was like a 12" hair in the nachos. They replaced the food and ended up giving us the whole meal and beers for free! Was a nice surprise...should have drank more beer if I would have known!

Funkeedva said...

Hey Radio Funky :)

how disgusting. I would have had a free meal and a free diet coke! lol That is just disgusting! Good service is hard to find. I can't eat at the Lobster Pube anymore anyway because I have discovered the Fish Company here in Philly...yummy!

Liza Valentino said...

I see Larry comes from a fam like mine - my mama taught me that if you are not satisfied - TAKE THAT SHIT BACK!! And in this case, where it was something that was OBVIOUSLY wrong, everything woulda been free!! I'm talking yo' meal, yo' friends meal and 3 or fo' meals after that!! (See, how I had to slip into the dialect for that? A little ghetto-ness is sometimes the most effective option.)

Dayrell said...

Ewwww! Not that's the sickest thing I've heard all week, LOOOL! Whooo Jazz. They did you DIRRRRTY girl! Just dirty! I'm sorry sis. :(

I hope you didn't pay for the dinner potion?...lol. A $4.00 difference? Say what naw girl?

kashata said...

Lol+YUCK!!-you just got me started on my diet,appetite went right out the window.It just had to be a pube huuh??.

G. Cornelius Harris said...

You ar a good one...I would have showed out...And what you doing on a diet...You are fine just the way you are...Hey I changed a few things around on the page...Come check it out and tell me what you think...Like or dislike...You know...Well I'll keep you posted

Sunnchine said...

Mmmmkaaaay.....

Pubic hair? Fish veins? Pubic hair? Fish veins?

Yeah, those are the same things.

Sid said...

Oh, damn. That's narsty. I once found a fingernail in my in-flight lasagna...when it stabbed me in the gums. If that makes ya feel any better....

Gotta stay outta the lobster. Those little biscuits are tasty, though...

Happy new year!

Stoney said...

Ok, how did the pube get into your food? I have to wonder about who is and isn't washing there hands! Aiight there are several occasions when it is perfectly ok to show your ass, your luncheon was an example. I don't know how you remained calm, and all of that. A pube is a horse of a different color versus just a "hair". I would have been asked to leave, therefore everything would have been free.

Sivad said...

ewww, that actually made me nauseous just thinking about it.

Liz said...

OH MY GODDD that is so nasty, you should have slapped her for even bringing you that check

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